I'm gonna go take a nice hot bath in a few minutes but first I wanted to write about how I'm feeling. I wanna lose some more weight so I think I might go back to Jenny Craig sometime soon. I think I hit another platteau. My first bad one was at 180 and now I can't seem to get lower than 170. I guess I can try one more time by myself. Presently I'm more like 176 lbs cuz I've sorta given up trying to lose and just trying to not gain. I think it would be reasonable to try and get to 160 by February. To get to 170 will be easy, I just have to resume exercising on a daily basis and change a few things in my diet. In other words, just doing as I would do to maintain my health. However to get lower than 170 would require me to do probly another 15 minutes of day of moderate to hard exercise and and cutting back on portion size. I don't worry too much about portion size, as I worry about what it is that I eat. I try to avoid the bad fats, and simple carbs, and sugars other than those in fruit and milk etc. I also try to eat some oddball things like blueberries and walnuts and soy beans to get some other nutrients that are supposedly good for long term health. It's going to be hard to get to 160, not really because of the platteau but because I'm not really taking a break from school. From fall semester, I'm going into intersession and then into spring semester with 16 units. It's not that what I'm taking in school is super hard, but that I'm just tired of it. I need some time to concentrate on my body and my health. When I get stressed with papers and tests I turn to food for comfort and energy. Luckily I don't turn to it when I get upset with other people or else I'd be like 300 lbs lol. My heaviest was 205 and I don't think I felt much different about how I looked as I do now. I know my clothes didn't fit at all the same though. At 205 I saw myself as heavy but proportional and therefore somewhat fortunate that all my weight was not only in the belly or in my butt and thighs. If the weight were in my butt and thighs tho, I'd feel like running wasn't so hard on my body. The weight on my upper body makes me feel kind of stiff and clunky while I run. In high school I used to run a little easier before I gained all that weight. I mean I gained it when I was a kid but I never really lost any weight. By second grade I was having a hard time fitting into the uniforms I had to wear for school and had to have them altered. Its things like that that make me tired of the weight and upset that I can't function like many other people without the weight. How nice would it be to go into a store and know that at least something in there would fit me? Right now, I'm right in between Lane Bryant and Wet Seal. I'm neither a size 12 jeans from Wet Seal nor a size 14 from Lane Bryant and it really sucks. At least if I was fatter I could fit into the plus sizes. And it would be awesome to just go to the beach whenever I felt like it and not have to worry that my thighs are all flabby as I make my way through the sand.

The other thing I could do to get to 160 is my usual eat-like-a-bird for two or three weeks and then when I get to my goal weight, resume eating a healthy diet and maintain that current weight. That usually is much faster and easier. But I have to maintain that weight for quite a while to be able to lose again later at a sort of fast rate. I think I will do that. This isn't really healthy but I used to eat nothing during the day and then eat all I wanted at dinner. It kinda worked but only to a certain extent. I don't think I'll do that also because I have low energy and I feel too full to get to sleep.

I think I'm just going to try my best to eat small portion sizes. My biggest problem used to be my sweet tooth but I can control that with effort. Now it's portion size that gets me. I feel guilty after going for seconds.

I think I can get to 160 because it seems very close. I would love to weigh 130, ultimately although I'd be happy to get to 140. It's so hard to exercise here though. To get anywhere decent I have to drive 30 minutes and most of the time I don't feel like driving anywhere and after a hard workout, I feel even less like driving. But I want to do it, its not that far away.

Some workouts I could do: walking in sand at beach, walking up the hills at the bike trail, pilates dvd, walking at park for an hour in the evening, walking at the park for an hour in the morning, treadmil at home, other exercise tapes, jumprope, ddr.

If I had a gym membership, I could do stationary bike, take aerobics classes, go swimming, use equipment and weights.

Otherwise I could do the no-car thing which would be pretty hard. In that case I'd have to walk to the store, bike/take the bus to school and other places. And I'd have to carry all my books around which would suck so much. The only thing that sucks about walking here vs. in London is that I don't feel nearly as safe here. If I need to get away from somebody I don't have as many places to run to for help. There I could just run into the nearest store or restaurant or jump on the tube. This would be a radical change to my life but I'm thinking about it. Plus I'd save money in gas.

I'm gonna go take a bath now and think some more.