I think it's bullshit that I'm 20 and can't have a drink once in a while, legally. I have insomnia and whatever those scientists think alcohol does to ruin sleep doesn't matter to me. A beer will most of the time relax me to a point where I can fall asleep in a reasonable amount of time. I feel like I might have done better in high school had I gotten better sleep, had the legal drinking age been much lower, had this culture accepted the idea of teaching young people how to drink responsibly instead of just saying NO. In December I'll be 21. I almost want to rebel the idea of celebrating my 21st birthday, because I'm so fed up with being over 18 and unable to purchase alcohol. I believe that in the future the legal drinking age will be set back to 18. I'm amazed when I see young Americans in foreign countries going out to bars and clubbing all night long because, hell, when they go back home they won't be able to do it anymore, at least till they are 21. I feel like I am an adult being told to follow a childish rule. It's possible for me to be arrested for "underage drinking." Huh? Imagine yourself getting married. You are 19. You could technically get arrested for having that sip of champagne immediately after the toast "to a beautiful marriage!" What the fuck, America? Why not at least have some uniformity and have the legal age to do ANYTHING be 21? Wouldn't it be easier for everyone? If my friend turns 21 just a few days before me, I wouldn't be able to step into a bar to at least BE with her. I think it's socially unhealthy.

But fuck that. The taboo of drinking is such a rain on this cultures parade. All bars, to me, now are dead space. They are very uncomfortable and useless anyway because you have to drive home afterwards... I think the real reason the legal age was raised to 21 is to provide designated drivers. I am a designated driver because I have friends over 21 but I am not 21 yet. I pretty much refuse to go out with them. Why does the younger (less experienced) driver have to be the designated driver? I won't be. I refused that position. I would teach my own children how to drink before they figure it out by themselves. The problem doesn't seem to be so much the law but the people of this country. They COULD teach. They could speak out if they cared enough. But I think they are scared. Isn't it sad that you could die in war before ever taking drink? And it's just a fucking drink. It's not anywhere near as deadly as a gun.

You can legally be loopy as hell in public while on Vicodin after having your wisdom teeth out (which possibly didn't need to be removed anyway, but provided your oral surgeon with a nice check to take home), but you cant have a nice glass of wine on a Friday night after a long week and be in peace with the idea that you are not breaking the law. The entire country is afraid to let go of childhood and that is why the legal age was raised to 21. The message that I get from this is that at 18, 19 and 20 years old, you are still enforcing child labor in America. Yes, thats right, when I sit at the counter and politely ask for 1 drink (its a treat) the waiter looms over and says NO. I'm too young (read: a child) to handle my alcohol responsibly.

So instead of a measly beer on a Friday night, I sit here and widen my ass just a little bit more with a bowl of ice cream. Because I can't have what I really want. Because I'm a child. Because America is scared.

My boyfriend seems hell-bent on taking me to Las Vegas to celebrate my 21st. I hate Vegas. It's obnoxious. My idea of celebrating my coming of legal age is buying me the brand of wine I prefer and going home without getting questioned about it. That's all. I don't wanna get drunk off my ass. And come home at 6 am drooling and semi-conscious. And try 7 or 8 cocktails on top of the 2 beers and a couple of shots of different liquors. On my birthday, I want my freedom and I want to exercise it responsibly and have a toast to America: "To getting carded like a child until I look old. Minutia is what we are all about."