Hello?

I think I have finally gotten it straight what my problem is with Garrett. At first I thought he didn't listen and then I thought he didn't care. Those might be true and maybe they aren't, I don't know. Anyhow, the problem is that he doesn't pay attention to me. It upsets me that my dad has priority for his attention. And when we are talking about something he sometimes just goes "mmh" and kinda veers the conversation in his direction. And if I tell him that I want him to listen to what I'm saying he says again "mmh" so I just give up and go silent, because really why would I want to talk to him anymore if he doesn't listen to me?

I think I pay attention to him even when I don't completely feel like doing it. It seems that he only pays attention to me when HE wants attention. That is the thing that I am unsure about with us. That is what I could not live with if we got married.

I hate the excuse that he does that because he's male. Sure, okay, men tend to do that but I'm sure that there are plenty of guys out there who are willing to put more work into paying attention to their girl. I'm sure there are guys out there who I can have an intelligent conversation with who wont leave the room just because somebody more interesting (my dad) has shown up. It feels really unhealthy. It doesn't make me feel happy that I'm less worthy of his time.

I think I'll tell him tomorrow that I don't want him at my house after 6. Because I dread weekends now. He spends all his time in the "office" with my dad and comes out to "check on me" every once in a while. Okay, what the fuck? I'm his girlfriend. Am I jealous? Yes, of course, and I have a perfect right to be. Now that I know what the problem is I can TRY to talk to him about it. Will he pay enough attention? Mmh...